I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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