oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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