Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
