She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
