no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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