I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
