he told me I talked like a deaf person
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
