She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
