If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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