garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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