Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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