Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
