I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
