normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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