Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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