My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
