...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
