Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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