So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
There r osticjed everywhere
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
