I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
