I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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