Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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