hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
even my farts smell like vagina
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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