Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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