i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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