I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
