saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
