i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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