Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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