Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
