would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
