$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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