if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
