I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
