get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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