never play flip cup with pint glasses
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
