oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
