oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
What a dumb baby whore.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
