Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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