I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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