he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
i out mim tonsoeep
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