shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
