God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
This couple is walking their pig around campus
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
