Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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