not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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