last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
