Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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