I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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