Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
