omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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