my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
