We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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