she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
